My pet can't catch a frisbee, but she says "thank you."

A few years ago, I received a bonsai tree as a present.

Determined to help my new friend prosper, I studied how to properly care for my notoriously needy companion. I trimmed off dead leaves, rationed out the ideal amount of water and even rotated the tree everyday to ensure each side received equal access to the sun.

Several months later, I debated turning over the half-dead tree to some sort of bonsai hospice program, a place for tired plants to die with dignity. Maybe I was treating my small tree too much like a special needs child, trying in vain to cater to its every need, yet ultimately choking it of having any kind of life of its own.

Can one be too overbearing, even for a houseplant?

No more poking, prodding or fertilizer, I vowed. Just warmth and love and water, the necessities.

Three weeks later, I tossed the carcass of my friend-turned-nemesis into the trashcan. It seems the only way for a houseplant to escape from my bedroom is to wither away, leaving its master to dispose of the remains, the ultimate insult.

I nervously slipped into the local florist on a whim last week. For some unknown reason, I just had to buy a new plant. Overcome with Spring fever, some greenery would really cap off two days worth of cleaning, I thought, trying to convince the naysayer on my left shoulder who's all too familiar with the bonsai saga.

"You don't want a geranium, it's like having a child," the clerk said after appearing with a large fern. "Try this, anyone can take care of it."

With that ego-boosting reassurance, I waltzed out of that flower shop, with the ultimate solution to buck my checkered botanical past.


On my desk now sits a magnificent peace lily, a plant that actually tells you when it needs water.
This morning, my lily looked about half as tall as it did when I bought it. Its leaves and flower buds drooped; reminding me of the pathetic look a dog has when begging for food.

I poured some water into the pot and headed off to work.

By the time I returned, my plant's leaves and flowers had returned to full staff.

My new puppy was wagging its tail.