I am a patient boy

In waiting rooms and lobbies across the country, it is still the "Summer of the Shark" and Michael Jordan, failing to learn from past mistakes, toys with ending his second retirement.

Reality changes during a doctor's appointment. Certain world events have yet to happen, according to the paltry selection of periodicals.

For that brief time, Mother Nature hasn't thrown a powerful hurricane at New Orleans or whipped up a giant wave in the Indian Ocean.

Arizona's top ten golf courses are still ranked as if it's 2003.

Love is in the air. Publications tout the rock solid marriages of Brad and Jennifer, Nick and Jessica.

A Reader's Digest shares the heartwarming story of rescuers saving those miners, who floated helplessly in cold water until rescuers could drill deep enough to save them.

The election of 2004 is a cliffhanger. Will Kerry pull it off?

The world according to the waiting room flows through time at a relaxed pace, like an afternoon baseball game.

You miss a few things from the stands on that sunny day, while grabbing a beer or watching two fans fight over a foul ball.

The lobby thrusts you back to life before technology made things so on-demand.

I can close my eyes and envision myself in the Wild West, waiting for major events to gradually reach my small town. Fewer distractions torpedo into my immediate surroundings.

Information is leisurely updated.

The gaps of time mean I can correct past mistakes before reaching the exam room, which, in essence, is a second waiting room.

I can quit smoking and start jogging, retroactive to March 19, 2005.

My imagined reality shatters as a nurse throws a new stack of current events on top of the dusty magazine rack.

The waiting room world catches up, the tortoise momentarily reaches the hare.

I don't fear because I know it is only temporary. Time will again begin to lag, and in six months, I'll be in a fixed period of time again.

In short order, I'll be wondering whether Democrats will pick up seats this November or if Hillary will enter the race and ultimately lose.

The reprieve from updated information puts things into perspective.

A bigger question becomes whether any of those thoughts really matter.